under construction

Tory and I have been so busy, but one thing I'm currently enjoying is our relationship. I mean that word in it's most literal definition. I admit that one of the things that had me hesitant about taking on a house with such demanding tasks is that I've seen people become resentful of each other. Sometimes people can't live under previously unexperienced pressure and frustration with someone else. At least without it leading to unnecessary and unexplainable lash-outs. I was worried about the deterioration of a relationship that will always need constant construction, because of the construction of a material object. A life partner, or a friend, it's hard no matter what.

We're learning a LOT about each other. Pressure, and hard decisions really makes you speak without much time to think, and so far that very fact has been working in our favour for the most part. We've become repressed of our familiarities because of our circumstances, and are trying to make small instances of relief for each other, and so far they have teetered in perfect balance. It's not to say that there hasn't been disorienting moments of uncalled for vocalizations, but it makes us work on them, before we can work on anything else. This is mainly because, above everything else, we need each other at our best to get work done. Aside from some small amounts of help, its just been the 2 of us doing a lot of work.

"We are made to fight, and fuck, and talk, and fight again, and sit around and laugh until we choke." That line keeps a level of normalcy in my head.

We've had these bizarre moments lately. Kind of like when you push yourself so hard, and then you recognize the profound comfort when it's there because of it's immense need I suppose. When we find ourselves in those moments these strange truths come out. Things we've held on to that don't matter any more, but still feel better to just say. Pet peeves, observations, confessions, questions, and memories or projections of the future. They come out mostly because of the overabundance of time spent around each other. I've actually been shocked by some of them, both heard and said. 

Maybe we're learning about each other while we're learning about ourselves. I would imagine that's how most self-reflection is done anyhow. 

It's good, but it's exhausting. Working on 2 accomplishments at once is perplexing at times, mostly because we don't acknowledge it. You can't really with both a house or a person. You can't really get what it was, until you get to see it done and then appreciate or re-evaluate the entire thing.

The bastard still pisses me off once and a while, but so does the wallpaper removal.